Thank you, Brendon Small

My Irrational Fears From the Past Five Years:

1. Sleeping: I was afraid of dreaming, plus being unconscious. The idea of losing control of my mind was terrifying. I became so obsessed that I checked my watch every few minutes and I stopped going to sleep. This lasted a year.

2. I was convinced there was a corpse in the wall next to the bathtub. I was afraid that when I was taking a shower, the wall would collapse and the skeleton would fall on me.

3. I was afraid an asteroid would hit me while I slept. Another reason to not go to bed.

4. I was afraid the Limerick Power Plant would explode. I would stare northwest and wait for the plume.

5. I was terrified of being abducted by aliens "The Forgotten" style.

6. Death: it consumed my every thought and ruined Disney World. It was Kim Possible's fault.

But they were just distractions for my mind as my world fell apart around me. I couldn't deal with reality, so my fears manifested themselves in the absurd.

What finally broke me out of the cycle of terror was Home Movies. I literally owe my life to Brendon Small.

Now I have learned to cope with all this change and I fear things like spiders.

2005 - the year of obsessive paranoia

sean michael, i like your dancing.

(you're legit. trust me.)

Glow and the Dark

If I was a girl
They'd like my dancing
Catholic-school kids are gross.

I made my mother cry because I refuse to spend time with the Baby.
In the end, all I can do is make people miserable.

all i want is to be left alone with my glow and the dark

Lists

Things I Love:
1. Moths
2. Snow covered woods
3. Lampposts
4. The smell of laundry
5. Summer night noises
6. Ghetto names
7. The sound of water pipes
8. Foreign accents
9. Ambiguity
10. Peaches (but not to eat)

Things I Hate:
1. FAUCETS!!!
2. Slow moving people
3. Misuse of the word "done"
4. My skin
5. Consistency of most foods
6. Small people with bad attitudes
7. Morning showers
8. Kids with wheels on their shoes
9. Cliches
10. FEET

"Would you like some Scottish File with your tea, Mr. Jombey?"
"No, dear me, I have had enough."
"Oh, but won't you stay for dinner?"
"When I say 'I have had enough' I do not only refer to the state of my hunger, but to the state of your presence."
"We will have Jerry Cream and it will be grand."
"We'll make a time of it."
Jill, I am treated like the Amish kid,
But don't worry, I have more
Self Respect than that.

helvetica neue.

(i swear to god, i only got a mac so i can use that font.)

mohawk fred.

for today's post, i have decided to delve back into the ridiculousness that was ME in EIGHTH GRADE.

i know, frightening.

this is what i did in class, when i was bored. it wasn't about the art. therefore, the art was terrible.

i won't even try to explain 300 pages worth of nonsensical plotline, but, for your viewing pleasure:

miserere...ego sum miser.

i saw three girls faint today.

Here's to trying?

HEY IM FEELING VERY BLOGGY TODAY


but yes its excusable. Sometimes there are things
that must be said.
It was brought to my attention today that someone received a
-1/100 on his calculus test. That means he actually was better off leaving it blank than trying to do it. Now this is not supposed to be an attack on him (although seriously, come on), but more of a validation of my theory that this class is bullshit. Check it:



Although, those other scores aren't that much better. From now on, I'm going to draw bunnies and unicorns on my test.

IF THE SQUIRREL NIBBLES A BRASS BUTTON AND THE BUTTON'S RADIUS DECREASES AT A RATE OF 1MM/S, WHAT IS THE RATE OF CHANGE OF ITS HAPPINESS AT TIME 2S?? USING THIS RATE, INTEGRATE THE FUNCTION TO FIND ITS POSITION ON RAINBOW!!!!

Let's see... a=(pi)r^2... dr/dt=-2... rainbow= sin(x)/ln(x)...
THE ANSWER IS 3 CHERRY PLUMS!

Painless Addiction

sorry :/

The Kennedy's

I was going to write a list of reasons why Cory Kennedy is amazing, but instead I got distracted and did this. I'm starting to think you were right. Hey, it's not that hard, huh?

the only girl i've ever loved.

I don't appreciate being called a fascist by a pretentious and condescending quiz

A girl waits by the train station in her school uniform, never minding the late hour. The fluorescent light flickers, buzzes, then goes off. She wonders what makes those fluorescent lights glow, and unwraps an orange popsicle. The wind blows and carries away the empty wrapper. She sticks the popsicle in her mouth and chases it across the station. A tall man she hadn't noticed before stops the wrapper with his foot. He is quite dapper, well put together in his black suit and tie, however, she notices his shirt is misbuttoned.
"Is this your wrapper?"
"Yes, thank you. I'm glad you were able to stop it."
"Well sure, it is our civic duty to prevent littering."
"And with these new anti-litter laws and all that."
"Those poor cats."
"Well I meant the trash, but I understand your confusion."
The girl walks across the platform and deposits her wrapper into a trashcan. She shuffles her feet and moves her portfolio from her right hand to her left.
"I'm glad you decided to be responsible, or else I would have turned you in." He adjusts his glasses.
"I'm not sure where this was going."
"Oh you know, detention, prison, the like."
"For a single wrapper?"
By this time the popsicle has melted in her mouth and has become a sweet nectar that dribbles down her throat. She chews the stick despite being disgusted by the taste of wood. Some would call it nerves.
"Yes, we can't have your trash all over the place. It is unsanitary."
"When the ground is concrete, it hardly can matter."
"I think your train is coming."
What he says is true; the lights of the train appear in the distance.
"By the way, before we part, your shirt is misbuttoned."
"Oh."
The man steps onto the tracks. The train arrives and he is surely crushed, the girl steps through the doors and finds a seat. Tragically, it is already 9 o'clock and she has yet to have dinner.


*I am burning incense in my room because it is too cold to open the window.

i am a dumbass.

i am not a morning person.
i missed my ride, so now i have to go to school at the same time as the normal children, who do not go to school at obscene early-hours. and my hair is grosser than usual, so now i really just do not want to go to school.
but i've opted out of school twice recently, already. so that means i have to go.
i don't like being yelled at by four people at 6:45 am.
i don't like mornings.
i don't like my gross hair.
days always seem shorter though, when I go to school at the normal time.
at least it's already light out!! usually, i go to school in the dark.
and i'm sure this is going to be "all my fault".
i am just not having a very good morning.
i bet that this week is going to suck.
i don't have the pictures for the poster done,
and i can't find the CDs i burned for sean,
and i'm lazy and irresponsible,
and i don't even know if i had homework, let alone what it was.

I hate Jill and her friends

i hate sean.

False Spring

tell them justin sent you

didn't want to go,
to fucking goddamn semi.
i went anyway.

sent sean a message,
will he receive it in time?
barred by principal.

oh well, i can leave.
not so fast. i am ten bucks,
so they let me in.

trash trash trash trash trash,
and i got to talk to you,
but sean is cooler.

you were so pretty,
there is nothing in your head.
all eaten by drugs.

i kept hoping that,
sean would call, whisk me away,
but he was asleep.

then i lost my shoe.
it was quality and gold.
only had one shoe.

me, cinderella,
and you, a male lolita,
seducing my eyes.

sight, darts across dance,
i see you with skinny-girl,
like cassie, from skins.

i did not eat for
days, so i could be lovely,
oh well, oh well. oh.

they were all just junk.
i still don't know why i went,
you weren't what i thought.

fantasies are best
just left fantasies because
truth is trash as shit.













single heel of a trapped gold stiletto.
please, someone. save me.