You're just giving up, aren't you? You need to struggle more.

Last night I couldn't sleep. I laid awake in my bed and looked out the window and watched for cars to drive by. When I was little I used to imagine what each of the people in the cars was doing driving at such a late hour. I usually figured they were returning from a trip to China.
But I got to thinking, I should be more relate-able. People just don't know how to talk to me... or what to talk to me about.
But I just don't do relate-able things. Like trudging through the woods and climbing the hill in the middle of the night, losing my senses and getting raped.
However, this blog's integrity is compromised.

I'm going to try and be more relate-able.

That's Caesar. He is my cat. He is pretty much my best friend. I took this picture 30 seconds ago with Photo Booth. It is hard to keep animals still for pictures.
Is that relate-able? People like cats... and macbooks.... right? RIGHT?

He Tested Paper Airplanes While We Took the Calculus Test and the Class Next Door Cheered

These past 3 days I have been asleep.

This is what my dreams looked like.

Today was my first day back to the land of the living! After 3 days of being locked in that dark room, the world seems so refreshing! You hugged me during the firedrill.
I was embarrassed, but it was nice.

I
AM
SO
EXCITED!!!!

How would I look with a mullet????
FUN TIMES AT FAMILY DINNER!!

I have to put this up before my father deletes it from his computer.
I think it's because I look like Her.
It's not my fault.

friday night.

and laughed at all the cardboard boxes on the ceiling.

no matter how things seem,
i’m always well-intentioned.
even the villain is the hero of his own story.

i shall try to keep my posts lovely
i don’t want the blog to deteriorate.

are you still on your deathbed?
you can always cheer me up,
but i doubt i have the same effect on you.
if anything, i probably annoy you to death.
but i try, at least.

i was escorted by school security today into lunch, after i was caught cutting class, and after eating apples in the upper commons and after trying to convince social outcasts to dance to the sound of a boy chewing lettuce in perfect rhythm.
1-2-3 1-2-3
lettuce waltz?
let us waltz.

this is my favorite picture of you:

Truth or D.A.R.E.?

While the party raged on downstairs,
I retreated to the bedroom upstairs.
She came in and sat down beside me,
the smell of vodka on her tongue.
She asked me if I wanted to know the truth.
And how could I refuse.

She told me of the Gypsies
who took her away
on their caravan
that traveled Everywhere with Nowhere in mind.
She was lost
and scared,
but Lucy took her by the hand,
and together they traveled
deep into space, crossing galaxies,
and to fields of flowers
whose colors melted and dripped.
And one day, she fell so far in
she was afraid she could never
come home.
But after 3 days of ghosts and Gods
she awoke
and was given back her voice.
No longer afraid,
no longer enslaved.
And she knew,
and she told me this now,
that underneath our human shell
we were all the same
and we were all beautiful.

Sometimes I still see her,
at protests and parties,
she still keeps that same face
of sorrow and peace.

Við Erum Með Landakort Af Píanóinu

PIANICMOED!!!!

I am drowning, and they will not let me die.

However, I have started to think
that maybe I create all this pressure inside of my head.
Am I doing this to myself?
Perhaps instead of fighting against it, I should just give in
and maybe end my suffering.

To let it take you... letting go is always easier than trying to hold on.
Right?

Yes, your words are very sweet.
They reach even this dark room.

I have lost count of the pills I have taken.
You won't see me tomorrow.

I have lost the ability to write
complete words.

a delightful post.

poor sean michael is ill
so i shall not taunt him today.
i will try to make a lovely post
to cheer him up.

here are some pictures:




sean michael, things are horrid without you.
now i know how you feel when i don't show.
amish kid insists on correcting me,
which you do too, all the time,
but at least when you correct me, you are actually right.

i ate my last pear.
i miss you.
hungry.
ugh.

(was this post maybe lovely? i tried.)

HIP HIP HOORAY!

Pantophobia: THAT'S IT!!!!

Things I'm Afraid Of:
1. Anything with 8+ Legs
2. Wide Staircases
3. Airplanes
4. The Peeping Troll
5. Clowns
6. Vaginas
7. Gnomes
8. Witches
9. Doorbells
10. Team Sports

EAT!EAT!EAT!EAT!EAT!EAT!EAT!EAT!

antlerboy.

i was going to blog about a few other things, but i realized that i just cannot blog at all about serious matters because antlers are so, oh, not serious. but isn't he a darling thing?

us.

I Caught a Cold

Rain, ice, and fog
driving wind
force it to take refuge
its cold wet fingers grip my throat
making it impossible to sleep
impossible to breathe
one by one it takes the people I love

When Spring comes
it will shrink back into the woods
crawl under the roots of trees
and dwell until the sun disappears again

Apathy Can Only Hold Out For So Long

You said no one would ever love you
Maybe it's true
Sometimes I can't stand you
But
It was lust at first sight
You will never know
Because I will never tell
If we must be alone
At least we will be alone
Together.

Perhaps I am human after all.