i am still am still alive and loving wide eyed in my time

i'm totally stoned and crying and in my basement and this all feels very dismal. i guess i really don't have any more reason to stay here.

it's snowing.

november 17

"being an 18 year old schoolgirl is soooo hard... mmm hard.... this math homework is making me soo hott...but all i have is a cucumber? whatever could i do with it?"

anonymous letters.

i wish you would come home.
i know our last meeting was awkward but we aren't single anymore. It would be so nice to talk.
Can you come down? How sick are you?
what is your immune system like?
Can you go outside much?
Can i meet her?
I'll let you meet him!
He's wonderful
You can play jazz with him perhaps?
i wish i said i love you.
but i like how things have turned out.
i told mum about it, i cried.
70% survival rate somebody told me?

much love
miss you