the everyday reassurance of being mutilated.

okay.
well, contrary to my general blah on this blog, i'm actually not just a whiny uninteresting person. i realized that this is starting to turn into therapy, where i get to complain about how miserable i am...but that isn't particularly interesting.

there's actually more to me than that.

at the moment, i'm working really hard on preparing to attempt to break into the fashion industry, particularly modeling. every girl in america thinks they are going to be america's next top model, but that generally isn't really realistic. according to the us center of health statistics, only 3.5% of women who are of the correct age range for modeling...are tall enough to be models.

i am one of those 3.5%. so i figure i should at least try.

but everytime i look in the mirror, this is all i hear. still.

That is so fucking annoying and weird. Every time you say you want to be a model I just wanna be like "You have to be pretty to be a model"...

Green Blankets

Pitter Patter

Last night I had a dream where I was getting reading for school.
Then I woke up.
Then I got ready for school.
I was late for school.
I got a "pink slip."

I have to relate a man with the power
to turn chicken to gold
to calculus by Friday.

The water backed up in the bathtub when I was taking a shower tonight.
There was a creature swimming around in the murky water,
I could see its shadow.
Sometimes it brushed against my leg.
After I turned off the water, it swam back down the drain.

There is a thunderstorm going on outside right now.
I can hear the pitter patter of rain on my window.
It has been raining continuously for eight days.
I would like to see the sun.

Remember how I said I hated obnoxious
self photography?
This is what I meant:

But you have to understand,
if there was ANYONE else who would let me take their picture,
I would.

for you.

:)

What is Going On?

I
AM
FURIOUS
RIGHT
NOW
!

CAPS LOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so I stood on my head.

I am such a clumsy oaf. Seconds later I fell over into that desk to my right and cut my leg.
THEN I TOOK THIS PICTURE!


I AM GOING TO FUCKING BURN THIS CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(oh, by the way, I'm starting to hate this blog.)
(but then again, I'm starting to hate everything.)

we’re neither pure nor wise nor good

i thought the world was sugarcake.

i'm so cozy right now, blogging in my bed. it's quite pleasant.

i'm a silly creature sometimes.

i'd be boy and you'd be girl

I Have No Idea...

We should switch bodies, then I could fit into your shoes.
But not really,
because I know enough about your menstrual cycles
to know that is a bad idea.

I demand a spin-off of a spin-off of the third season of a spin-off!!!!!!!
RIGHT NOW!
<3

with every sun ascending a lonesome moon will grow.

maybe someday i will be a cuddly creature too.

"I Just Blacked-Out! That Was Awesome!"

I don't really know what to say about Friday.
I can't tell you everything that was going on in my head that day.
The whole thing was like a dream, really, passing by on the other side of a foggy window.


I wasn't really paying any attention to where I was, what I was doing, or who I was with.
I was too preoccupied with my own dilemmas.
Things where happening all day you know, whether you noticed or not.

However, you did know the end result:
a bus ride home of moping and Pedro the Lion.


It's funny how whenever I get upset, people always think it is because of them.
My own misery just causes the unhappiness of those around me.
People are so self centered. I never let the people who truly make me upset see that they've done.


Do you want to know why I didn't push you off the seat when you fell asleep in my lap?
Well let's just say I know how it feels.
Whether it was intentional or not, I was going to let you do whatever you wanted.
I have always pushed those few people off of the seat, and now I'm lying on the floor.
I can't complain now.

Somehow, seeing Natasha Khan and all those people in the basement helped me to wake from that delirium.
I have hope again, and I don't know why I didn't see it before.

I can't believe that was just one day.

:)