dear people,

i'm trying to pull my shit together, i promise. i've been having a rough few weeks, but that hasn't come without DANGER and EXCITEMENT, and it hasn't come without DEBAUCHERY and NONSENSE. despite, despite, it was a quite difficult for awhile there, with my brain causing me all sorts of pretend troubles. but now i have a renewed sense of purpose! or something like that. carry on!

Jill

high on khat

god i'm sorry, i'm just being crazy. i'm sorry. i'm just being crazy, i know. i'm gonna take you know, kay? you're fine. everything's totally fine. i feel a lot better now.

ain't nuthin ta fuck wit

what does the genre "melodramatic popular song" entail? and who on earth came up with it? is this a legitimate genre? aren't pop songs usually a bit melodramatic, or would it be like, say, Conor Oberst singing "Womanizer"?

well in that vein, i think i have discovered the appropriate example of what "melodramatic popular song" would be......Wu Tang Clan in the style of Xiu Xiu!

but, no, really....what is melodramatic popular song??

i'm alright now.
everything's fine.

blogblogbloggityblog

sean michael does not blog anymore. i bet he doesn't even check it anymore. cunt.
i cried about his lack of blog this morning in the shower, when i randomly checked his last.fm and saw that he didn't link the blog anymore, and it just felt ....over. but also because i've been annoyed with him recently, and im not really sure why. i was really upset he didn't go to casiotone with me, and ever since that point i feel like something inside of me broke. however, because of all of this, i've been on some kind of psycho music writing kick. i'm turning out a song a day, and they are all quite good songs.

i guess that's not really a normal reaction, like "oh, i'm upset with someone, so i'm going to write a disco album." but that's just how it turns out. when i'm angry, my music all ends up very dark and hardcore, and when i'm sad, they are usually piano shit with the reverb turned up 100%. and now i'm floating in some weird state of emotion, were i know it's not a good feeling, but it's not angry or sad. it's just............empty. and when i feel empty, i write disco.

actually, i'm frustrated. i think that is what this emotion is. but usually my frustration is paired with overwhelm, but it isn't this time so i didn't recognize it at first.

:)