“with nobody in your bed, the night is hard to get through."

my tears have just dried up,
maybe i'll be okay tonight.

but there is something you need to know.
that "immature" phrase...

...well, i carved it into my skin
three years ago.

you say i don't know you,
but i've tried to know you.
i'm frightened to tell you i care about you at all,
because you alienate anyone who cares about you.

anyway.

i’ve a fur coat for a lover,
press against it under covers,
in the air, my still breath hovers,
not the exhale of another.

i stroke the fur, pretend it’s hair,
and i pretend that someone cares,
a girl or boy who’s lying there,
but i just cuddle empty air.

good nights, i pretend to smile,
i’ll be alright for awhile,
and my dreams still shall beguile,
(heaven for a somnephile).

but bad nights, always soft tears bring,
in silent requiem they sing,
i cannot have that pretty thing,
that angel-lover without wings.

i’ve a fur coat for a lover,
press against it under covers,
in the air, my still breath hovers,
not the exhale of another.

everything in the whole world has come together all at one single second,
and i’ve realized how alone i am.
i thought i could hide behind delusions and dreams forever.

no picture today.