vomit.

i am a dying duckling today.

i watch my guts pour out of my mouth
and they drip orange onto the porcelain toilet.
everytime i open my mouth,
i'm petrified my food will be sucked through me backwards
in reverse digestion
until my sweater is stained with coke and peanuts and whatever else i've eaten.

one blink for yes, two blinks for no.

but that's kind of like what my mind is all the time.
sick sick sick.
until i vomit out all the wrong actions and words.
i hate myself.

i wish i was sexy and cute and less of a freak.
i wish i knew all the right things to say.

but i'm not and i don't.

"you got a fast car
i want a ticket to anywhere
maybe we can make a deal
maybe together we can get somewhere."