Monday, May 18, 2009

I Try to Focus But It Won't Help, I Try to Kill It But It's Still Here

I'm having trouble describing this weekend... it is all just becoming a blur.
When I woke up Friday night to a call that said they were waiting for me right outside, I had no idea I wouldn't be back home for days.

Well first it was to the mall to satisfy the fabulous kid's shopping compulsion.
Pink shirt, designer sunglasses, $80 shorts.
Hateful stores: Diesel, Neiman Marcus, and others I can't remember.
Trying on clothes and laughing at ridiculous prices gets odd fast.
($1400 for pants with an elastic waist? come on.)

Then driving through the night to DJ Fabulous's mansion, filled with pinball, big tvs, and bowls of fake fruit.
It's apparently fun for two people to ride an elliptical at once.
He's a magician you know, the kind that pulls handkerchiefs out of his sleeves and bunnies out of hats. Although this kid pulls raccoons out of his closet crawlspace.
Watching him try to light a match while his mind falls apart is painful, so I look at his antique condom collection.

Eventually we are off again, and I am off to another house.
Bloody noses and trashcans filled with blood.
We play Resident Evil until it all kicks in and everything becomes a joke.
Reminisce about Arthur and Francine trapped in the library, and laugh at out silly childhood.

The next day I awake, and he is off to save homeless cats.
I am too weak and sickly to follow.
Lord of the Rings proves too boring and I fall back to sleep.
I realize I am all alone, and I am stuck there, thanks to the bridges I've burned.
The party starts in 3 hours.
The quest for a ride begins.

Staring at nothing in particular.

Swatting flies,
eating tuna and lettuce.
Waiting, until finally help arrives.
We get in the car, and I tell her to drive until I tell her to stop.
We are in the place that is the most important to me.
The place I left,
the place I never forgot.

Journey through the jungle, the place that inspired me to be who I am today.
Broken forts and fisherman,
ducks and drug dealers.
A mother helps the neighborhood kids get ice cream from the truck,
a girl learns to ride her bike in the same parking lot
where I first learned,
while her father waits in his car playing Lil Jon.

I miss sitting on this roof.

I can't stay here, it's over and gone.
Going back to another old town, but this one has
white cream and raspberries.
Sitting by the side of road, realizing I never wanted to go to that party in the first place.
We screamed "Take on Me" until our voices gave out.

Before I know it I'm driving through the storm,
60, 70, 80 mph,
lightning dancing and twisting across the sky.
Singing "Start Wearing Purple" just to pretend
like everything would be fine
when we spin out of control.

Somehow I am in the mountains again, without a clear purpose.
All I know is, I'm here.
The storm spoils all hopes of midnight boating,
so we fall asleep watching adult swim anime.

Long walks through forgotten roads,
cold mountain chills,
a man walks his dog and smokes a cigar.
Slower now, slower please.

I suppose, eventually I went back.
We all went back.

Now I am tired.

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