The Afterbirth

i come to you now in a perfect sense of mind! to tell you that um whoa my ears ware ringing like a boxer! but just its not the small things or the big icture, its not even the stuff in the middele, but just look at stuff like you are really looking at it and just know that everything is BEAUTIFUL! its so damn beatiful!!! the way ;ight shapes on macadem and just everything! it doesnt matter what people say , its the truth! and oh you should have seen the lights! BUT ok so like um i forget! but it was so clear before! it doesnt even matter what your hair looks like or all that other shit that is always there its all gone! just get rid of it pk>? ok? please just remember that eberything is beautiful no matter WHAT. and its so wonderful. and smiles are a plenty. wgatever i guess thats it thats the best i can do!!!!!!!!!!! just be g;ad i didnt call you hahahaha altyho!!! i bet its decent hour, right? all up in asia. i wont call yhough, time differences are shit and dumb. just go around at night i dont care why do they have to do all this dumb time shit? UNG. my moth astes pukey. FUUUKE
hfs ok whatever. now im home and thats trash. lets just leave it at that. i just wanted to tell you before it dgoes away that life is wonderful and looks at the pretty things because all that other stuff isnt real? ok????? all that stuff about beauty and whether they are happy is BULLSHIT!! just be happy!! ok!!! even if people think you are crazy be ghappy because life is beautiful and everything is beautiful!!! KK??!!!
people need all this stuff to be happy like money or love but NO its FALSE OK? just BE HAPPY! ou dont need anything! no supprot no love no recognition just BE HAPPY! no matter what! you are the only one in the i=universe do just behapy! its that way it was supposed to be!!! they get IT. la lal alala RAVE AND BASS AND PING PONG WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!! but it was aoll everything t be halppy .UNG WHY IS KEYBOSRD SO HARD TO OPPERATE!! too many letters. lets have ONE LETTER. aaa a a a jaaaj1 jsvt whwta was one!!! ANDREW F------ SAUD GANG GANG DANCE WAS HORRIBLE LIVE!!! SAD!!!!! BOO HOO!!!! IM STILL GOING THOUGH. HE KNOCKED OVER THE AMERICAN FLAG OH SHIT NAWWW IN THE DINER HE DIDNT ORDER ANYTHING THOUGH. I THINK I HIT CAPS LOCK!!!!!!!!!!!! ok its gone. so yea. it was so much people. shit, why am i eriteing this. but i cant got to bed, what do it do>? i dot n know anything else!!!! FRAT HOUSES ARE STUNKY!!! can u imageing taking contacts out? yea i though t os. sucks!!!! i feel bad because everyone was ok fresh but im NOT>. whatever. ok now im sad. FUCK.
xxxoxoxoxoxoxo sean
JIN THE NAVY BTW


JILLL WHAER AM I?>???!!!!! IM STUCK IN MY PANTS I cNT GET OUT!!!! COME BACKKKKK

happy birthday sean michael.

lots of people die, all the time,
but i've been thinking a lot about elliot smith recently
and arthur russell,
and now dash snow is dead
and i've concluded heroin is bad.
arthur russell didn't die from heroin though, i know.

vulnerability

When we're on different sides of the globe
I thought we'd keep our veins tangled
like a pair of mic cables.

dear people,

i'm trying to pull my shit together, i promise. i've been having a rough few weeks, but that hasn't come without DANGER and EXCITEMENT, and it hasn't come without DEBAUCHERY and NONSENSE. despite, despite, it was a quite difficult for awhile there, with my brain causing me all sorts of pretend troubles. but now i have a renewed sense of purpose! or something like that. carry on!

Jill

high on khat

god i'm sorry, i'm just being crazy. i'm sorry. i'm just being crazy, i know. i'm gonna take you know, kay? you're fine. everything's totally fine. i feel a lot better now.

ain't nuthin ta fuck wit

what does the genre "melodramatic popular song" entail? and who on earth came up with it? is this a legitimate genre? aren't pop songs usually a bit melodramatic, or would it be like, say, Conor Oberst singing "Womanizer"?

well in that vein, i think i have discovered the appropriate example of what "melodramatic popular song" would be......Wu Tang Clan in the style of Xiu Xiu!

but, no, really....what is melodramatic popular song??

i'm alright now.
everything's fine.

blogblogbloggityblog

sean michael does not blog anymore. i bet he doesn't even check it anymore. cunt.
i cried about his lack of blog this morning in the shower, when i randomly checked his last.fm and saw that he didn't link the blog anymore, and it just felt ....over. but also because i've been annoyed with him recently, and im not really sure why. i was really upset he didn't go to casiotone with me, and ever since that point i feel like something inside of me broke. however, because of all of this, i've been on some kind of psycho music writing kick. i'm turning out a song a day, and they are all quite good songs.

i guess that's not really a normal reaction, like "oh, i'm upset with someone, so i'm going to write a disco album." but that's just how it turns out. when i'm angry, my music all ends up very dark and hardcore, and when i'm sad, they are usually piano shit with the reverb turned up 100%. and now i'm floating in some weird state of emotion, were i know it's not a good feeling, but it's not angry or sad. it's just............empty. and when i feel empty, i write disco.

actually, i'm frustrated. i think that is what this emotion is. but usually my frustration is paired with overwhelm, but it isn't this time so i didn't recognize it at first.